Swagger Wagon: Trek Across America

My Thursday client is in the Hamptons. This makes me laugh. Most things do these days...but seriously. I don't think it will ever seem normal to me to just run off to my house in the Hamptons on a whim. I don't think I will ever have a house in the Hamptons. And if I do, holy batman, I guess I will have made it.

When I was a kid our vacations were planned 'meticulously'...we'd all pile in the brown '87 Toyota van (nicknamed Freckles by my brother because of the thousands of tiny rust spots on the front hood). Freckles, who's sliding door literally fell off one day...who's ceiling upholstery was coming undone, a situation only further exacerbated by my boredom during roadtrips...and who's door latch would periodically make it impossible to get in our out (I'm noticing a 'trapped inside' theme as of late. Anyone wanna analyze this?).

We'd load in and shove off, the back of the van full past the point of 'safe rear viewing' with coolers, the family tent (also brown...later replaced with a teal version), sleeping bags and clothes. Daniel and I would read, fight and sing. We replaced the words in Frere Jacques to go something like this:

"Are we there yet, are we there yet?
She bit meeee, she bit meeee
I hafta go to the bathroom, I hafta go to the bathroom
He bit meeee, he bit meeeee"

In typing that out and replaying it in my head (I can still hear our shrill, drawn out voices. Top of our lungs to boot.) it's a wonder Daniel and I are still alive. If I were the driver, I would have pulled over, demanded the singers put their palms on the hood of the van and run over the two of us. Fast. I guess that's why I'm not a mom....

We never went to the Hamptons. Instead we explored the West Coast and southwestern US. We went to various National Parks, camped and got learned.

At the age of 8 I was awarded a Junior Park Ranger Badge at Chaco Canyon for my groundbreaking exploration into rock formations, plants and creatures indigenous to the area. I was so proud of myself and wore my badge for the rest of the week. It was also in Chaco Canyon that Daniel nearly died. I slept through the entire incident. I am such a good sister.

Mesa Verde was another stop...to this day if you take my to ruins and set me free I will be as happy as a tick on a fat dog (so gross, had to be used). Cliff dwellings are my favorite. Daniel and I were fully occupied scouring any and all rock surfaces for pictographs, and then excitedly deciphering them for my mom and dad.

Scariest family roadtrip excursion: Valentine Cave in Newell, CA. I'd been to other caves during that trip, but for whatever reason, this one terrified me. I should really go back and do this one again.

The last roadtrip we took as a family (though my mom flew ahead...3 out of 4 still counts, right?) was from Seattle, WA to Nashville, TN the summer between my 7th and 8th grade years in school. My dad tried his best to make moving cross country with two birds and half your belongings in the back seat (by now we'd graduated to a 99 Toyota Sienna) fun by recreating the trips of years past. The only thing I remember is the women at one motel along the way that sang to our birds and refusing to stop crying for about four days. Man being 13 sucks. For everyone.

I think when I started out this post I was going to write something about this random day off being odd and productive. Who cares. Reminiscing about my family and our crazy trips was way more fun. I miss you family! And now I wanna hop a train, go upstate and go outside.