I work on-call as a nanny, meaning that on any given day I could be anywhere in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut or Pennsylvania (literally). This also means that I have the privilege of visiting a plethora of homes, from the middle-class family of four to corporate big wigs to movie stars (yes, I am a nanny to the stars, no I can't tell you who: confidentiality agreements abound).
Anyway...as one might expect, when you're up in other people's business as I tend to get in my line of work, you can discover some rather, shall we say, alternative, lifestyles. I'm a pretty open person, but even I need a little help figuring this one out:
I went on an assignment in Clinton Hill where I cared for an adorable 8-month-old I dubbed 'Bat Baby' for the duration of our time together, her ears were really huge. Super sweet, snugly and gorgeous. Left me with a bad case of the baby-love which I try to avoid at all costs (I'll be damned if I ever become a mom). During her first nap, I decided to take a look at the DVD collection, which was out in the open. They had some standard kid flicks (there was a preschooler involved in this situation as well), some action films...and then...my eyes come across something a little...ODD.
I see Little Miss Sunshine, I see Popeye...and then I see a collection of what I can only dub "the kitschy porn." Titles including: Deep Throat Sluts: Virgin Edition, Interracial Sorority Bash IV and all manner of other "college sluts" themed films. After about ten titles, the collection returns to that of a less eyebrow raising variety.
Who leaves out this kind of scandalous content in their living room? Who leaves it out mixed in like it belongs with Little Miss Sunshine and Popeye?! Needless to say I found myself with a permanent wide-eyed 'oh' face...and not the good kind...the 'total shock' kind.
If that wasn't enough 'weird' for the week...I took Bat Baby out for a walk and on the very corner pictured above was cat-called and subsequently offered weed by a group of Clinton Hill's finest thugs. Who offers a 'mom' weed? I can only imagine the look on my face at that point. I also witnessed a police bust on a beautiful brownstone a few streets down from 'home base' and nearly got run over by a number of vehicles that didn't seem to understand the concept of not driving full speed into the crosswalk before screeching to a halt. Oh Clinton Hill...I look forward to doing business with you again soon.
Who says my job is boring? I can't...
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