Cut Me A Deal.

Picture the scene. After fleeing work 15 minutes after arriving (one of my compadres arrived, thinking he was opening...and I ran away) to FINALLY go to the doctor after a) having been in THE WORST PAIN I'VE EVER FELT (and I've felt some horrible pain) for four days straight and b) almost having dragged my unable-to-stand-straight body to the ER ten blocks from my apartment, I find myself in the fetal position in the office. The office of NOT my normal doctor. All is not lost, I am still finding comfort in the fact that the entire 'medical complex' looks like a ship from Star Trek. Love. It.

Back on track. The doctor, we'll just call him Dr. C, comes in...he starts poking and prodding like doctors are wont to do while I grimace and shudder. Test results come back (I'm an expert at peeing in a cup...less of an expert at giving blood samples) and he makes his diagnosis. I say blah. He says he can't give me painkillers though I KNOW FOR A FACT that anyone else would get demerol. I get it, I know why he can't prescribe me demerol (and honestly, I'd end up tossing it after a dose or two), but I still don't understand how he's just gonna send me home like this.

And here's where the real kicker comes in.

Dr. C, who is now sitting on one of those godawful roll-y stools, fumbles around in his pocket and pulls out a card.

"I am actually an acupuncturist on the side. I don't practise it here. I have a clinic....you familiar with Chinatown?"

Now, I'm all for alternative methods, really. And I love Chinatown...for dim sum and cheap markets that sell food items you can't find anywhere else. But he goes on...

After giving me specific directions to probably the busiest corner I can think of in Chinatown, and as I'm actually considering this as an option, I decide to ask about price. And this is where I swear to you Dr. C adopts an auctioneers voice:

"Anywhere else, 150 dolla...for you, you come today...60 dolla. Really a good deal."

I am...confused...floored...in too much discomfort to know what to do...I know my jaw dropped.

And upon my exit I found it absolutely, 100% necessary to phone a friend.