Noteworthy Things I've Learned TODAY...

I've been in NYC just over a year now which also means I've been out of school and a fully functioning (well...that could be a lie...but it's a nice thought) on-my-own-in-the-world adult for just over a year now as well. For whatever reason, today has been especially full of little lessons. Here they are...

*Virtually impossible: Painting nails. Realizing nose rings must be switched out immediately. Attempting to switch out nose rings without ruining said BEAUTIFULLY painted, very wet nails.

*Also virtually impossible: Choosing just the 'favorite' songs from your complete No Doubt discography for transfer onto your iPhone. I've been a No Doubt fanatic for so long its truly disconcerting, and there are only two songs I don't like. I guess I'm adding the whole collection. I'm a No Doubt pack rat. I want my pink and platinum hair back. Someone pass me my red lipstick. And give me an orange to pose with.

*Classic: Measuring your fun-sized New York apartment for furniture with a plastic, 12" ruler you used to create all your screen printing templates and technical drawings. This method leaves absolutely NO room for error and I will be completely baffled if my new couch doesn't fit exactly as I expect it to.

*Always call ConEd to set up your new account during a heatwave when the threat of citywide blackout is SUPER high. They will be SO excited to hear that you're not calling about a power outage or some other electric emergency that they'll be more friendly and helpful in three minutes than they've been all year.

*Don't even bother calling the cable company to ask if you can 'just pick up the materials and set up wireless in your apartment by yourself.' The response will be a veeeeeery long silence. Followed by a lot of 'um uhhhh..ummmmm'. When you say "This is really something totally out of my league, isn't it?" the customer service representative will let out an audible sigh of relief that YOU said it and he didn't have to.

*When you haven't eaten chocolate or ice cream in the past three months, decide to splurge on a pint of Haagen-Dazs (obviously to eat your feelings about Germany's loss in the World Cup) and quickly drop three spoonfuls onto your bed within moments of tearing off the protective plastic seal, there is NO denying this is God's way of saying "You do not deserve this treat and will regret it both tomorrow when you go back to the gym and in two weeks when it shows up on your ass and thighs."

*Always put in your headphones when you're on the train, whether you're listening to music or not. If that crazy rando over there STILL isn't deterred, find a reason to lift up both your arms and flash the armpit tattoos (stretching or grabbing the overhead rail are both fabulous options). I'm finding most people are so shocked by the pits that it buys me enough time to exit the situation or it just shuts them up completely. Also, wear your 'mean' face that all those ex-boyfriends told you you had...the one that makes people wish they were dead. (Okay, so this is an old one...but it is foolproof and therefore warrants being included).

*Making sure you're a constant fixture at your gym, corner bar and the diner down the street really pays off. After being MIA from the gym for two days because it's just too damn hot to workout I got a text from the night front desk guy checking to see if I was okay since he hadn't seen me since Monday. Additionally, I told my bartender on Sunday that I might swing by and say hey on Monday. When I didn't come in, he called me from the bar to make sure nothing was wrong (and was probably wondering how the hell I thought he was going to pay his rent if I didn't come in). In light of these recent events I DARE New York to mess with me.

*When you find out firefighters are coming to your job to do a building inspection, don't get excited. They aren't sending ANY cute ones.

Okay. I have to sleep. It's 2am and I have to LEAVE for work shortly after 6...I guess that's another thing I'm constantly learning: insomnia never goes away.